It began on April 3rd 2000. The day I was born. I was born a week early. That was the day I began to fear everything.

Fast-forward a few years, perhaps the age of three. That’s when I began to feel fear. I was minding my own business, when I saw these weird long red bugs I now realized were fire ants. I began stepping on them until I stepped on the hive and fire ants started crawling on me.

Then the itching and burning came. I then screamed.  The next thing I know I’m in the shower. So anytime I see a bug I stand still. Doesn’t help when you’ve been stung by a bee, had your mother’s boyfriend sneak a dead cockroach under pillow next to your hand, or had a cockroach crawl on your head when you’re trying to sleep because a kid accidently shot ketchup in your hair and later forgot.

This is the only fear where I know how I got. I have many other fears; pain, rejection, heights, death, incarceration, surprises, and suffocation (now that I think about it, I do remember how I got that one, but that’s a different story.) So was my journey in how I first felt fear.