“Why are we here?”

“Because it’s free here – the other place charges five dollars.”

Tyler rolled his eyes, trying to release Erin’s lethal grip on his upper left arm (and failing) as he was manhandled into Lakeport Mall.

“That’s not what I meant. I mean: why are we here?”

Tae was on his right, having dragged Tyler, her sister, and their other friends to watch Tyler lose, in her own words, “mall Santa virginity,” grinning like she always does when ridiculous opportunities appear before her.

“You ought to be more appreciative – we’re helping you get back a good childhood!”

Tyler groaned. Ever since he mentioned how he’d never seen a Disney movie since the Lion King, Tae’s been putting her pity energy into making him experience all the things that kids who didn’t grow up in foster homes got to do. So far they’d held an 18 hour long Disney movie marathon, followed by an intensely competitive Super Smash Bros. tournament, and then another exhaustive movie marathon featuring Scooby Doo and some Korean cartoon superhero whose head was made of bread (Erin and Tae insisted).

But – Mall Santa? As if he wanted to spend Saturday afternoon sitting on some creepy old guy’s lap, who, upon further inspection, might be on parole.

“It won’t be that bad,” said Will, who’d been walking behind them, face ever stoic as always, but with a hint of amusement that Tyler could pick up on.

“Yeah,” Olive, on the other side of Tae, smirked, “Just don’t ask Santa if he’s pregnant.”

“That was ONE time,” exclaimed Tae.

“Yeah, and then you just kept hitting on him.”

“Tyler, it’s your turn,” said Erin, who’d released his shoulder in favor of shuffling next to Will, beckoning Tyler to go up.