People have terribly frightening flaws

And these awful things often pass without pause.

The worst of them happen during an exam,

Not cheating or faking or pulling a scam,

I’m talking the normal, infuriating stuff

That make me scream, “Darn it, enough is enough!!!”.

Like clicking a pen on and off, on and off

Or sneezing or scratching or going “cough cough”

Or squeaking your shoes ‘cross a clean, tiled floor

While taking a test over junk that’s a bore.

But this is just merely the tip of the top

Of hap’nings and going ons that never will stop.

The soft, muffled sobs of an unprepared slacker

The laugh of a nerd (don’t you just wanna smack her?)

The scritch and the screech of mechanical pencils

That kid next to you whose dumb breath smells like lentils

Not to mention the humming and droning off-tune

Of aspiring singers (deluded baboons!).

And what of the teachers who grade our mistakes,

The pointless point system the school makes us take?

They weep and they scream over lame chicken-scratch

The quote unquote “handwriting” no one can match

Whose illegibility and messy aspect

Is writing that only a dog could respect.

And how ‘bout fluorescent and colorful pens?

The neons and highlights that write whats and whens

Just how can a person read what’s on the page

When blinding hot pink makes your eyes swim with rage?

It’s these testing habits that make tests so hard

Not all the material or studying cards

So next time a friend asks how hard was the test

Just give them this poem, then wish them the best.